taylor swift, inadequecy, and packing

this week has been a rollercoaster, to say the least. and no I'm not talking about the dinky little white roller coaster at lagoon, no I am talking CANNIBAL MIXED WITH SAMURAI. it's been difficult and I have been grasping at straws trying to figure out how I would possibly get through this kind of a week without my mom, my bed, and my room. a girl needs her privacy ya feel? there's been so many things that have happened to me in the last month and I just haven't been able to get a handle on it (any matt damon fans out there?????? we bought a zoo??????) anyway I think the best way to begin that process of getting a hold of your LIFE, you have to focus in on the now, the present. sooooooo....

first-- tay swift.

WHAT A WOMAN. you know what I love about her? she is constantly evolving. she doesn't stay in one place for very long and still has the energy to release a vibin song that not everyone likes, but doesn't let it falter her. I have loved t swizzle ever since I heard love story. and she only. got. better. every album she releases is her own personal clapback. whether its an ex-boyf or a could've been (TEARDROPS ON MY GUITAR SHOULD HAVE BEEN NAMED MY 2007 ANTHEM THANK YOU VERY MUCH) or a, ahem, rapper...not to name names like Kanye or anything like that. she KILLS it every time and I will always love you t swift. look what you made me do is the best thing to happen in 2017 and if you see me in the next 2 weeks, i will almost 100% be singing this song. not even mad. and if this is the straw that breaks the camel's back for some of you guys that can't commit to my blog, then so be it. you keeping doin you boo. like she says, the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.

second-- inadequacy

yes, I, an average, natural brunette, might love nuggets a little to much, human, have feelings of inadequacy. SHOCKER. someone call captain obvious. and recently, I've had these feelings more often than not. why? well there are soooooo many reasons as to why I could or should, but its mostly 3 things. one, feelings. unobtainable crushes. trying to go outside of your league and it fails every. single. time. need I say more? two, college. the social, financial, political EVERYTHING about college. I hope to the heavens above that my roommates can begin to help me out of my turtle shell that I've built this summer. fingers crossed. speaking of roommates, I have a good and weird feeling about them. updates to be posted. and three, I AM SO TIRED OF GETTING LEFT ON READ. that is all. inadequacy strikes all of us at one point or another, and it sucks. bad. but the thing that is important about inadequacy is there is not one person who can't relate to you. so when I see a picture of a boy that I got major heart eyes for...and a picture of a girl, who is not me, I get the inadequacy feels again. not like that just happened to me like an hour ago or anything though. we all feel it and its important to never forget that you are not the only one feeling like that.

three-- packing

YOU DO NOT REALIZE HOW MUCH STUFF YOU HAVE UNTIL YOU HAVE TO PACK IT INTO FOUR 26x15 TUBS AND 5 12x12 FRY BOXES. why didn't anyone tell me this? everyone says being the oldest is the best, but that's because THEY AREN'T THE OLDEST. the oldest has to figure out what you actually have to take to college, which in turn, creates EVEN MORE PACKING. its the worst. what's worse? NOTHING. okay maybe there's a few things worse, but PACKING IS 100000% GARBAGE. and it continually reminds me that this part of my life is almost over and I am that much closer to my life becoming my own. and that is the most terrifying and exciting thing ever.

also some people have multitudes of water bottles in their rooms? I HAVE LIKE 600 NOTEBOOKS HOW I DO NOT EVEN KNOW REALLY.

all in all, its been a week. and while I'm constantly terrified for what may, can or will happen, I welcome it with open arms. I especially welcome and patiently wait for November 10. tay swift, you have created the most perfect single to annoy my brand new roommates who I'm trying to impress. love you lots.

Much Love,

Sara Jean