Once Upon A Time, I Got A Straightener

Imagine your hair after its been curled one day. You slept on it, its a little frizzy, but you can handle frizz right? Of course you can. Now, same scenario, except you slept on wet hair & there's curls on the tips of your hair, but everywhere else, its frizzy & wavy but not a good wavy. And, to up the stress just a little, you have 20 minutes to get ready. FREAK OUT. Welcome to my mornings. If you know me, you know my hair always has to be done. Always. Braided, curled, bunned, straightened, whatever. It HAS to be done. There is a very specific reason as to why that is though, I promise. If you have ever had the privilege of seeing me at 5:30 in the morning, a. Why in the world did I allow you to see me at that moment of the day? and b. I deeply apologize for your eyes viewing that. But really, if you've ever seen me not ready, you were probably catching me at a REALLY BAD time orrrrrrrr you came to my house without notice. If you're in the second half, shame on you. Cause I always have to be ready. But its been more like an evolution than a decision really.

Here in the Thurgood abode, you get to start doing your own hair at age 10. That's 4th grade for all you kids trying to figure out what grade that is. And for us, that's the beginning of middle school, so we have to start figuring it out at some point. That's just the given point for me & my sister. Its more like the point where Mom does your hair 2 times a week, but you're on your own for the rest. And she slowly weans you off depending on her (but jokes on her, I still need her to do a lot of other crap for me) But looking back, my mom seriously should have considered changing it to 6th grade. Because boy, was I unfortunate. I look back on those days & legitimately cringe. Like how? How could someone, anyone, look like THAT?! But I did. Mom called it character building, I call it extreme humiliation. And it didn't stop after middle school ended. 7th grade was the year of the side buns & ginormous head scarves. 8th grade was the year of "curled" ponytails (its in parentheses for a reason, trust me). And in all that, I decided that letting my natural hair do its thing was a good idea. WRONG! SO VERY VERY WRONG!! Let me quickly describe my natural hair to you, so you kind of get the gist of what I'm telling you. My natural hair can be compared to that of a flat afro. "But Sara, that's an oxymoron." YOU'RE AN OXYMORON LET ME FINISH. Its got a little curl under neath, but on top, its like something made a nest of my hair. Kind of flat, kind of curly, kind of wavy. REALLY frizzy. That's my hair. Now you're getting the imagine & you're understanding WHY I have to have my hair done. But its not that I can't go out without my hair done, I totally could. Its the reason behind why I don't that matters.

When you look in the mirror, what do you see that you like about yourself? Your eyes, because they are the same as your mom's & people always comment on them? Your teeth, because you know how long they took to look like that? Or maybe its your hair, how long & beautiful it is or how you finally found the one product that makes your natural hair look FINE? For me, its my eyebrows. Yeah I know, mine are pretty artificially shaped 90% of the time. But if I chose to not shape them & I just put Vaseline on them, you wouldn't necessarily know that I didn't do them that day. Once I finally figured out how to do them two different ways, I felt like I had more freedom with my appearance. I could dress really nice one day without doing my eyebrows or I could dress like a trash bag & do my eyebrows to up the experience. It gave me freedom.

Do I love my natural hair? No, not even a bit. But there are many other things that I love about myself that overcome that *cough*hate*cough* dislike for my hair. If I hadn't found my natural hair, I wouldn't have found that I hate it, or that I love makeup, which makes me love my eyebrows, which is a big part of who I am. I want you to look in the mirror today & find one little thing that you love about yourself & embrace it. Find something that maybe you don't love as much & learn to accept it. Because we are all beautiful & we deserve to believe that, even if its just one little thing.

Much Love,

Sara Jean